Homework, test in common sense!

Keeping in mind Oscar is in year 3 and officially a year ahead in his academic attainment, here is a recent homework he was set and his hilarious answers:

Homework:  You are on an Island with lots of trees, you have books, clothes in a bag, some bananas, some rope and a saw... How do you escape??

Oscar's answers (hard not to laugh as I write this) : Ozzy "I would used the saw as a paddle.  Use the bag of clothes as a bed."  
Me: What about the trees? Oscar: "I would take the bark off the trees, for clothes" (I am crying with laughter now!) 
Me: What about the books?  Oscar: "I'd wear the books on my head, to keep the sun off, because it would be hot."
Me: What about the bananas?  Oscar: "I would use them to make a raft!"

Needless to say, this was another piece of homework that needed steering!  They really ought to have a session a week to teach common sense!!

children's strange fads

What is it with children, they always have something they can not be parted with! 
With my son it was his muslin, then named snoopy, after he lost it in Italy and I was frantically describing it to the hotel receptionist and she finally said (Italian accent) "Ah yeees... a SNOOOOPY" I thought then for years that in Italy, muslins were called Snoopys, until I made friends with an Italian girl who gave me a strange look when I said Oscar had learned the italian word for muslin and that it was snoopy. We later realised the hotel receptionist  was actually just referencing Linus (snoopy's blanket carrying friend) and that it had all got lost in translation!  
Anyhow Ozzy went "nowhere" without his snoopy, until he was 4.  Me?  Apparently everywhere I went I found a stick and took it with me.  
Izzy however seems to be finding it hard to part with her addiction.  She 'has' to wear  an old pair of broken, orange, bob the builder goggles, that used to belong to Oscar, no matter where she is or who she is with.  She has no sense of our horror, as we trail her around Sainsburys or M&S, as she wears the said goggles!  She loves them and obviously feels like they are, for some reason? part of her being!!  Anyhow, here are a few pics of Iz wearing her goggles over the years!

Goggles first started at the age of 2! Note missing perspex!

Goggles still going strong, age 3!

No Jubilee party is complete without said goggles!

Breakfast, with goggles AND sunglasses, thinking of straying from the orange eyewear!??

The Orange goggles triumph, Izzy age 4 in M&S, sporting the now famous broken orange goggles!

I have to say I have visions of her wearing these on her first day of school, or worse a first date, or in jobs interviews!

starting dance class

Izzy started dance class yesterday and LOVED it, she made a little friend, Sienna, and ran out holding my hand, shouting in the wind "Can I do it everyday Mummy??"

Felt so proud of her!

Izzy starting street dance, inspired by watching "Got to dance!" on TV.

Old photos that capture everything!

Just stumbled upon these pics, they are so lovely I must put them here.  They are from Nov 2010.  Izzy was only just 2. Can't believe she is 4 now, where does the time go??

She always plays with her ear when sleepy x

The funny things kiddies say!

Cracker from Oscar tonight: "Mummy I've got a good idea, tell Homeless people about IKEA, so they can drive there and they can sleep in all the beds and have a rest on the sofas!"

Oh you gotta love em!

Great Mummy-size bag from scruffy little cat bag!

Love my personalised bag from scruffy little cat, it captures a moment in time which I just love! ...And obviously I look this good, esp on the school run ;) 

Amazing new pocket money toy!

Am soooooooooo excited, I have invented a toy, one that any child can afford and it is brill!  Even if I do say so myself! ...and so brill in fact that it has just hit the shelves of Sainsburys, in the UK!!

Here's a pic I just took, whilst out shopping (squeals!!).  It took a lot of restraint on my part not to buy a bottle of champagne and just knock it back whist staring at the Sainsburys shelf with 'MY' "Zip Warriors" sitting there.  Anyhow, here is a link to the youtube promo ad (that's my real job! Making these sizzle ad for toys/gadgets.) to explain the product.

Thank you Ozzy, my little inspiration, watching him and his pals when they started reception and were playing with this style of toy!  Oooh also little Ozzy and friends are staring in the sizzle ad.

Dinosaur show amazing!

Walking with Dinosaurs, in Sheffield. Brilliant show for the littlies.  For a sense of scale spot the man climbing on the top of the rock! I was more scared than my 8 and 4 year old. Ozzy rumbled they weren't real and Izzy was devastated they didn't come closer!!!

Turn your back for 1 minute!

Just turned my back to cook dinner and she is has used ALL the soap, half a loo roll and is soaking! Grrrrrr

Obligatory snow pics

Oh go on then, some snowy pics to go with everyone elses!  Well whilst the cat (Ozzy) is away (at Beevers) the mice (Izzy and Mummy) will play (in the snow!)

And lest we forget how crazy the British weather can be, here is a photo from March 2012, lunch in the sun! What a difference a year makes!

Ozzy's first Beevers sleep over!

Oh the angst of Ozzy's first sleep over.  I was in such a spin by the time I had to wave him off, that I was almost beside myself.

Every sentence started with "BE CAREFUL NOT TO ... choke, get too cold, get too tired, get run over, fall out of the bunks" ...I had to literally force myself to stop and say "have a fantastic time!"  His little frame was so wrapped up in warm clothes, that he took the shape of a giant teddybear and he could scarcely carry his kit for the weekend.

We are setting off to collect him in half an hour, relieved in this late March crazy snowfall, that I have a 4WD, else he would be staying a bit longer than he anticipated :)

why men can't tidy up after the children.

I have 2 children and I can JUST about keep on top of the mess, if I keep repeating the order "If you're not playing with it, please put it away now!"  

...so, why are husbands unable to implement this? Are the words too hard to form in their mouths?  Are they unable to see the mess building up?  

My hubby is usually either asleep on the sofa when I return, or heavily engaged in a children's movie, or playing with the children, for which I am usually secretly jealous.  I always seem to be too wrapped in chores to enjoy the moment and play, though only because I know it is 'I' left holding the dustpan (so to speak). I know the answer... I just need my own wife!  

The playroom, oh dear... votes please, should I tidy or just close the door??!

The best made plans!

Well somethings are just not meant to be. Firstly I ended up with a chest infection on Ozzy's actual birthday, making it REALLY hard to function, but somehow you do as a Mum. Then 2 days later, powered by amoxicillin I managed to rally for his big birthday party, so much so, I even managed to bake the 40 buns he was desperate for in the 2 hours before!  

My husband went ahead 45 mins before with Ozzy to the party destination and I was to follow mid party, with the buns and Izzy (as Izzy was too young to attend the sports bit of the party.)

So I iced the buns with dyed blue and pink fresh cream (a scary first!) got Izzy all dressed up, threw a few more tablets down my neck and brushed on some blusher for fake health... only to find myself caught up in the scene of an accident I couldn't leave.

I was driving down the country lane and a woman clean knocked a poor chap off his bike. I found myself stopping my car and been first at the scene. Which meant trying to call for an ambulance, reassuring him that he was going to be ok, (I wasn't sure of that at all,) his helmet was in pieces and his back was hurting with him. 

Then more help arrived and it was this man determined to roll him onto his back, so I was insisting that was not the right thing to do arghhhh, then another person and thank goodness as my phone seemed to not ring 999, I later realised it was routing through to my car. 

Then the woman who knocked him over arrived saying sorry, but later I had to insist she stayed, as she was trying to leave!! Then I went looking for first aid help and we were so lucky to find a gp in one of the cars backing up. My little girl Izzy was so patient, she really is good. 

Anyhow the ambulance took 35 mins to arrive and I spend much of it holding this mans head still.  

Consequently I missed most of Ozzy's 8th birthday party, I arrived for the last 20 mins and he and his friends were having a ball!  I'm not sure he noticed my absence, though I felt terribly guilty.

The thing though that was the biggest, unexpected reward was just before bed I hugged Ozzy and said "I am so, so sorry I couldn't be at your party, I hope you understand why it was important for mummy to help the cyclist..." and Ozzy replied "Mummy I'm glad helped that man, to make him better before coming to my party, that was more important!"   I then realised he has grown into a wonderfully compassionate 8 year old little boy, right before my eyes and without me noticing. He has a heart of gold and I feel so so proud of him! I am a very, very lucky Mummy!

Ta darr and they even survived the accident! Super buns!

Happy Birthday Ozzy! A pic for every birthday!

Ozzy is 8 tomorrow, I am almost tearful at the speed he is growing up but also HUGELY proud of what a good, kind and clever boy he has grown into.  He has  always been compassionate and loving and bursting with energy.  I don't know how I steered that, he is truely fabulous!

8th birthday party pic to follow after saturday, meanwhile he is a pic of him on each birthday, including literally his birth day! (had a bit of a fad for pirate tee shirts too!)

Ozzy Born 2005

Ozzy age 1, party at home.

Ozzy turns 2, dinner with his best mate Ruby!

Age 3, Party with nursery friends and cousin.

Ozzy turns 4, shared party with his best friend.

Oz turns 5, forgot to take a pic at the softplay centre!

Oz turns 6, big home party and OMG never again!

Oz turns 7 with his schoolies, tire them out with bowling!

Sunshine and the Optimist!

"Mummy, why is the sun following me everywhere I go?"

                      

                       Optimist or paranoid??!

Mummy I am sick, not!

Ozzy was apparently too ill to go to school today.  Can't imagine why I am now doubting his honesty!

Found him lining up his head with his moose antlers, in the mirror.  Not quite bed rest!

utterly tragic mini-me-ness

I know this is tragic, but I just couldn't help myself, when I saw this little jacket in Zara, that just happened to match mine!  Cute.  
I used to roll my eyes at pics like this, yet couldn't help myself, the irony!

booking children's birthday parties well in advance

Izzy woke me up in the middle of the night up to tell me something 'VERY IMPORTANT' that I "must stop sleeping and instead send invites out for her birthday party IMMEDIATELY, so that everyone can come!"

...So Izzy's birthday party will be on October 28th and don't forget! Now maybe she can go back to slllleeeeep!!!

Spring is in the air!

Is spring in the air, or just springing??

Trampolining fun in february.

Ozzy's first musical

I took 7 year old Ozzy to see Oliver Twist, the whole shebang with Neil Morrissy as Fagin.  It literally blew his imagination and I think I got more pleasure from watching Ozzy's reaction, than the actual show!

The Grand Theatre, Leeds, is a beautiful setting that almost takes you back to dickensian times with its ornate styling from the late 1800's.  I managed to get 2nd row tickets, by chance, which was fantastic and the show was fabulous!  

Ozzy made a point of watching Oliver Twist a week before going so he had an idea of the story and songs. And I can't tell you how wonderful it was to watch his little face light up with awe!  Frankly with the intensity of children's imaginations I think any show would be wondrous.

Ozzy was just very lucky his first show was a stella production of Oliver Twist, touring the UK. Beautiful Evening!

Soft play survival musts!

Ok, into battle... soft play centre for the afternoon. Remember to pack the following:

1. "Combat attitude" for irresponsible, or snotty parents who are in denial their precious Tarquin/ Tarquinetta just punched your child in the face! = tick

2. Anti-bac wipes to counter the sea of viruses and bacteria coughed out and dribbled onto the brightly coloured plastic   = tick

3. ipad to numb the boredom, though do prepare for patchy wifi, signs of free wifi lure reluctant parents in but too frequently it doesn't work. 

If only they sold earplugs & strawberry daiquiris, I could almost enjoy the soft play scene!

Children and housework

Mummys delegate more!  Start them young, Izzy now has her own hoover, albeit a little "crum-pet"!

Crum-pet in action!

bowled over!

I had genuinely forgotten how much fun bowling can be and sadly I had also forgotten how to actually hit the pins??  My daughter merrily kicked the balls down the alley and my son bowled so slowly that we could turn around, sit down and watch as they slowly rotated their way to knocking over the pins.  Despite these unusual bowling techniques Izzy's and Ozzy's freestyle approaches still had them score double my points, each!

Funnier was Izzy's disbelief that she was witnessing something 'I' was rubbish at.  She tugged at my top, with a furrowed brow and scrunched up little nose and said "Mummy are you 'not' good at this?" and looked really confused when I agreed and said "No!"

Then Ozzy came up to me, just before I attempted to bowl and conspiratorially said "Mummy you can do it, just concentrate!" and he kissed my hand and then the ball for good luck... I then proceeded to send the ball hurtling down the gully and when I turned around I witnessed him look utterly crestfallen in a backward glace, as the ball missed every single pin!

But the wonderful thing is in these moments I realised that to my children (errr and only my children) I have rock star status!  I am good at everything, I am clever, wise, multi skilled and all knowing...   So to stay that way, I just need to keep them really young, somehow... hmmm and stay away from bowling alleys!

What is the difference between boys & girls?

I think these two pictures fully explain the difference between boys and girls:

Izzy age 4 "When I grow up, I want to be a doctor to fix people"

Ozzy  age 7 "I want to grow up shoot people and be a Cowboy!"

I was in the utility room, after school today and shooooo'd the kiddies out, as I could hear the workmen above the ceiling and feared they'd come crashing through the ceiling.  "OUT!" I shouted at them, Izzy stepped back to the door threshold. "Why?" she enquired.  I replied "because if the workman crash through the ceiling they'll squish you!" Izzy answered "But Mummy they'll squish you if you stay there too, come out!"

Ozzy's (boy) response: he remains in the utility and talks over Izzy, "Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, Mummy, (got my attention) err ...which do you think is cutest, a Kitten or an Ocelot?"

Firstly I have no idea what an Ocelot is, but I do know Ozzy completely missed the big picture (ceiling crashing in). I think boys think differently, quite singularly. 

I wonder if it stems back to the cave man days where men/boys single mindedly pursued the woolly mammoth, despite all danger.  And when women/girls had to endear themselves to a group, using emotional intelligence to survive.  

Anyway all I know is my little boy is always so focused on something, that we have THE most bizarre conversations.  Ozzy thinks in lists, everything has a hierarchy.  Even breakfast (6am), "What are your top three favourite breakfasts Mummy? Mines Weeetabix first, err then second favourite is Shreddies and my third favourite is Ready Brek!"  
...Arghhhhh...  Mine is 1) A sleep in!  2) Breakfast in Bed & 3) An overnight Nanny.

Mothers little helper 21 century style!

Seriously tempting, feeling harassed today!

Wondering WHO buys these... posh alcoholics?  Workers celebrating a good morning meeting in the office?  Mummys on the edge?  I think the latter. 
I was so tempted to give in.  
I had a flash vision of pushing Izzy in the trolley, cheers-ing other Mummys whilst staggering around the fridge section, trying to master the art of pushing a full trolley with one hand, whilst quaffing a 'froglet" of Rose with the other!  Suddenly mundane food shopping seems a lot more appealing, well done M&S!